Home » Archive » How to Avoid the Permissive Indulgent Parenting Trap

Table of contents:

Permissive indulgent parenting is a style of parenting where parents are highly responsive to their children’s wants and needs but are not very demanding in terms of behavior or expectations. While some may see it as a loving and nurturing approach, it can have negative effects on a child’s development. Children raised with permissive indulgent parenting tend to struggle with self-control and have difficulty following rules or boundaries. In this blog post, we will explore the dangers of permissive indulgent parenting and provide tips on how to avoid falling into this trap. Whether you’re a new parent or an experienced one, this article will provide valuable insights on how to raise happy and healthy children. 


Setting Limits 

Setting limits is an essential aspect of parenting, as it helps children learn how to regulate their behavior and develop self-control. Without limits, children under permissive indulgent parenting may struggle to understand the consequences of their actions or may become overly reliant on their parents to make decisions for them. On the other hand, setting limits can be a delicate balance between being too controlling and too lenient. It’s essential to set limits in a positive and respectful manner, such as using “I” statements and offering choices. 

Enforcing limits consistently and effectively involves following through with consequences and being clear about expectations. For example, if a child throws a tantrum in the store, a parent can calmly explain that such behavior is unacceptable and offer alternative ways to express their emotions. Consistent reinforcement of limits can help children understand boundaries and develop self-discipline. 


Providing Structure 

Providing structure and routine for children is crucial for their development and well-being. Children thrive on predictability, and a consistent schedule can help them feel secure and in control. Without structure, children may feel anxious or overwhelmed, and their behavior may become erratic or impulsive. On the other hand, a rigid routine can be stifling and may not allow for spontaneity or creativity. 

To establish structure in daily routines, such as mealtimes and bedtimes, parents can set specific times for these activities and stick to them as much as possible. For example, parents can set a time for dinner, turn off screens, and encourage family conversation during mealtimes. Parental control apps like Safes can help you make your child stop using their smart devices when you need their attention, such as at mealtimes. We’ll explain more later in this article. 

To balance structure with flexibility, parents can allow some room for spontaneous activities or adjust routines when necessary. For example, parents can plan a movie night or a game night once a week or allow for some flexibility in bedtime during the weekends. By providing structure and routine, parents can help their children learn important life skills and avoid an indulgent parenting style. 


Spoiled child poking fingers into her parents' faces


Practicing Positive Discipline 

Positive discipline is an approach to parenting that emphasizes mutual respect, cooperation, and problem-solving. Unlike permissive indulgent parenting, positive discipline sets clear boundaries and expectations while encouraging children to take responsibility for their actions. By prioritizing mutual respect and cooperation, parents can avoid the negative effects of permissive parenting, such as a lack of self-discipline and poor decision-making skills. 

Positive discipline techniques include natural consequences, such as allowing children to experience the consequences of their actions, and problem-solving, where parents encourage children to find solutions to conflicts. To use positive discipline effectively without being too lenient, parents can set clear expectations and consequences and follow through consistently. For example, if a child breaks a rule, parents can calmly explain the consequence and encourage the child to find a solution. By using positive discipline, parents can help their children develop self-discipline, problem-solving skills, and a sense of responsibility. 


Encouraging Responsibility 

Encouraging responsibility in children is essential for their development and growth. Children who are given age-appropriate responsibilities, such as chores or decision-making, tend to develop a sense of independence and self-confidence. On the other hand, permissive indulgent parenting can lead to children becoming overly reliant on their parents and not developing a sense of responsibility. 

To give children age-appropriate responsibilities, parents can start by assigning simple tasks, such as making their bed or helping with dinner. As children get older, parents can gradually increase the level of responsibility, such as allowing them to make decisions about their clothing or school activities. 

To praise and reward responsible behavior, parents can offer verbal praise and recognition, as well as tangible rewards, such as extra screen time or a special privilege. It’s important to be consistent with praise and rewards, and to avoid over-praising or over-rewarding, as this can lead to entitlement and permissive indulgent parenting. By encouraging responsibility and providing opportunities for children to learn and grow, parents can help their children become self-reliant, independent, and responsible adults. 


Balancing Love and Limits 

Balancing love and limits is a crucial aspect of parenting, as it helps children feel secure, loved, and supported while also learning self-discipline, responsibility, and respect for boundaries. Permissive indulgent parenting, which focuses too much on love and avoids setting limits, can lead to children feeling entitled and lacking self-discipline. 

To show love and affection without being permissive, parents can offer praise and support for their children’s accomplishments, show physical affection, and spend quality time with them. To maintain boundaries and enforce rules, parents can set clear expectations, follow through with consequences, and encourage self-discipline and responsibility. For example, if a child breaks a rule, parents can calmly explain the consequences and encourage the child to make amends. 

By balancing love and limits, parents can help their children feel loved, secure, and supported while also developing important life skills. 


Girl holding her palm out to her mother pretending not listening to her


How Can Safes Help in Disciplining Your Child? 

The Safes parental control app is designed to help parents discipline their children by monitoring and controlling their digital activities. The app’s screen time monitoring feature allows parents to track how much time their children spend on various apps or websites and set limits on their usage. The bedtime mode feature allows parents to set a schedule for when their children’s devices should be turned off or put in sleep mode, ensuring that their children get enough sleep and maintain healthy sleep habits. The instant block feature allows parents to instantly pause their children’s devices, such as during mealtimes or homework time, to encourage them to focus on other activities. 

By using these features, parents can help their children develop healthy digital habits, limit their exposure to inappropriate content, and avoid permissive indulgent parenting by setting clear boundaries and expectations. If you’re interested in trying Safes, you can download it from our website and benefit from a 14-day free trial with premium features. Safes is available for both Android and iOS devices. To learn how to use Safes, follow the links below: 



In conclusion, avoiding permissive indulgent parenting requires a delicate balance between setting limits, providing structure and routine, encouraging responsibility, and balancing love and limits. By using positive discipline techniques, such as natural consequences and problem-solving, parents can help their children develop self-discipline, problem-solving skills, and a sense of responsibility. Additionally, the Safes parental control app can help parents discipline their children by controlling their digital activities, which is becoming increasingly important in today’s digital age. By setting clear expectations, following through with consequences, and providing a supportive and loving environment, parents can raise happy and healthy children who are well-equipped to navigate the challenges of life. 

Sina G.

Sina G.

At auctor lacus fusce enim id tempor etiam amet. Et consequat amet eu nulla nunc est massa dui consequat. Facilisi adipiscing nec condimentum sit laoreet non turpis aenean in. Aliquam cursus elementum mollis sed accumsan nisl ullamcorper in.

More from Our Blog

A smiling girl writing in a notebook with a laptop in front of her.
Is your kid having a hard time concentrating on school? Use these 5 smart ways to help your child focus on their studies without getting distracted. 
Atena Ladchartabi

Atena Ladchartabi

Violent teenage boy covered in blood
There are usually three parties involved in every act of violence: The perpetrator, the victim, and the witness. And social media has made it much easier for each to play their part. Sociologists have been warning us for years about the prominent role of social media in the rise of violence, in youths in particular. In this article, we will try to clarify the relationship between social media and violence in teenagers. 
Mahsa V.

Mahsa V.

Grandparents and child are participating in a video chat
Video chat apps have been around for years, though they’ve had an upsurge in user count after the covid-19 pandemic. In this day and age, using video chat apps to contact the outside world is becoming more and more useful. Considering the increase in the amount of time children spend on screen activities, it’s no surprise that kid-friendly video chat apps have also become more popular. 
Safes Content Team

Safes Content Team

Portrait of parents and child holding a torn-up drawing of family
Divorce with young kids can be hard to navigate. Here we talk about how you can manage the situation in a way that prioritizes your children’s needs. 
Tannaz T.

Tannaz T.